I will get a few emails here and there asking me how long I should keep searching for love. There is no set time but I can understand someone's frustration or impatience when searching for that special someone. I think one of the biggest misconception about finding love on the net is that it is easier to find love on the net than finding love in the physical world. The net does give you one advantage over the local dating scene and that is there are a lot more to choose from when searching for that special person. However, it still takes the chemistry of two people to begin the process of courtship.
When I'm asked about a time frame for finding love, I always refer back to my experience when I was searching for love, but for each of us there may be circumstances that determine how long you are willing to search. For me, I was willing to stick it out for as long as it took knowing I was getting older and that time was not on my side. Personally, I think if you don't give it a minimum of a year, you are not giving it enough time. Giving it a year to find a lifetime of happiness seems reasonable to me. For me, I would of gone beyond a year if need be but I was lucky and found the love of my of my life in about 8 months.
I should qualify that time frame with some criteria. If during that year your effort to find love is to check into the site a few times a month to see who is new, than all bets are off. I was super active during my search. I would be on the net on average an hour a night. Emailing, blogging, checking out photos, commenting, etc. I was not into chatting while searching but a few times I did. I mostly used email/message to get to know a person and if there was hope for a relationship, I may of called them.
The reason I would of gone beyond a year, is because I had more than my share of nibbles during my search. In some cases things did not turn out as I liked, but there was enough hope for me to keep searching knowing that one day I would find the right one. If I met someone and it turned out to be no chemistry, I chalked it up to a learning experience. I truly believe that the experience of searching for love and meeting so many people prior to meeting my true love, was preparing me for finding the love (Eileen) of my life. If I would of met Eileen early in my search for love, it may of not worked out since my level of experience for courting on the net was in its infant stages. So in many ways, timing played a factor in finding the one who was right for me. By the time I met Eileen, I understood her culture better, knew what to say and not to say and in general understood how things worked. I definitely learn that a few words like "hello, how are you" was not going to get a lady's attention. By the time I met Eileen, my love resume was pretty complete with words, pictures, sound and video.
One thing that does puzzle me is why guys keep doing the same thing when it is not working. They use the same words in their emails, never change or update their images or don't go that extra mile to make their love resume as attractive as possible. I must of said this a hundred times in other articles, but I will say it again. IT TAKES EFFORT TO FIND LOVE. Some members put more effort and thought into ordering a meal at a restaurant than they do in searching for love, yet finding the right one may be the most important decision you will make in your life.
If finding a lifetime of love was easy, than we would all be happy. But finding that special person takes effort, time and maybe a little luck.
Good Luck
Dan
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SHOULD I GIVE UP
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