 This problem persist because he wants the girl to instantaneously fit into his comfort zone. At first, when he sees her, he is excited and this is enough to keep the relationship alive. In time the lady’s behavior and feelings make him over think the relationship and the enthusiasm dissipates. At one time it was thrilling, but it loses its luster as the relationship moves onward – especially when the lady’s conversation involves changes in his life. He feels the pressure and wants out. Soon, he is back to filling his emptiness with beer and Sunday afternoon football. You see ladies, guys don’t have the same type of instinct as you do and don’t easily trust intuitive feelings. He’ll over think what’s in his heart, especially if he feels the only way he can love you is for him to make major changes in his life (they may not be major to you, but to him missing a Sunday afternoon of football may seem worse than going through hurricane Ivan). The gap will widen until it is beyond closing, no matter how he may truly feel about you. Whatever he felt at first now rest in a place that has no understanding of intuition. It may still be there, but buried in a cluster of bewilderment. What can you do ladies? Not much, except maybe back off a little. What can you do guys? Don’t think about it – trust your gut feeling. I just got done saying that a guy’s feelings may be buried in puzzlement. What a man doesn’t realize that this is what separate men from women’s intuition. What we interpose as confusion, a lady calls intuition and has total trust in those feelings no matter how muddled it may seem. In other words, guys, they go with the flow. We will fight it, we will rationalize it, we will try to conceal it with alcohol, cover it with masculine bravo, but instead, we should listen to it. Don’t run, don’t hide, just let it be and let it take its course. Scary, thought, isn’t it, guys? But if you are weary of the merry-go-round of emptiness you may want to give it a chance. I know some of you guys are still looking for simplicity, so here goes. Our visual instincts are in harmony when we first see a lady. All she needs to do is give us a little indication of encouragement and our hormones are in high gear. We don’t think further than the moment, care about house payments or closet space, our eyes see what we like, a signal says it is ok to like what we see and we are in heaven. Simple! Now let’s progress ahead where the lady starts thinking with reference to how life would be beyond the weekend movie, sexual encounters and the occasional dinner together. She wants more. If you fight it, she is gone, so you let the door open. She is in with some feelings – you thought you could control it, but now you seem to be reacting to her feelings. Is this bad, guys, that you are reacting to her feelings? We seem to interpret a reaction, even if it is a constructive one, as being dreadful. At this phase we begin the dispute between what we feel and what we know. We know we like to watch foot ball, but how will my feelings amend me being able to watch football on Sunday? (I know ladies, you just can’t believe it’s that hard to decide between football and love, but for guys, it can be). When there is a debate between our head and our heart, ladies, the head frequently wins. What I’m telling guys, if what you feel inside is positive, don’t obscure it with other doable scenarios. Let it flow – trust that what you feel within can be a positive in all aspects of your life. But for now, don’t think, just be. Guys, I’m not saying that in time you may grasp that she is not suitable for you and shouldn’t get out, but what I am saying is we usually kill the opportunity to find out before we let time take its course. Usually, we over think our reactions until the only reaction left is we feel she is an invasion in our life. Than she’s gone and the loneliness comes back – another Sunday, one more 6 pack or two of beer and you are getting older, lonelier and maybe, just maybe, wiser. I say wiser because I think younger guys fit the above sort better than an older gent. As a guy gets older, he may recognize not to react so quickly, but trust that what he feels may actually enhance other aspects of his life. This is why a lot of younger Filipina ladies like older men. To them, older men are more settled, accepting and willing. Obviously, guys have met a lady and after the first date knew she wasn’t the one. Even then a guy will call it a mistake rather than a gut feeling. He’ll say something like, “I don’t know what I saw in her, but man she isn’t for me.” It is when it goes beyond the first date and his gut has already said, “man she is the one” that he will start to talk himself out of any involvement when the lady wants a little more than the two of them getting together on Friday and Saturday nights. I”m telling you guys, trust that initial feeling, let the confusion in, don’t fight it and give it time. You may find that you can still watch your football game on Sundays while she is nibbling on your ear. That’s it, short and sweet. Guys, if you feel she is the one after a date or two, trust your gut feeling and don’t talk yourself out of it. There is more to life than Sunday afternoon football. There is Monday night football also. Just kidding, smile, let what you feel be your guide and forget thinking too hard about how those feelings may change your life. Let it flow and let her love you. Subscribe to Asian Dating Articles |
Dating is a Gut Feeling
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