 In relationships most of us have different degrees of confidence. There were times I felt like I could do no wrong and other times I couldn’t do anything right. The ups and downs of relationships are still a mystery to me. I don’t have all the answers, but most of us have in common some the same feelings: the hope when you see someone you can’t take your eyes off of; the anticipation of being on a first date; the instant when you kiss; the pleasure of love; and also: the wallop when someone says no; the depression when someone walks away, the emptiness when someone you love cheats on you and so on. We all have been their. What happens once the worse has happen to you. I can give you a peek of the male’s point of view. You are in love. She is everything you could wish for. She’s stunning, sexy, and makes you feel alive. You can’t wait to be with her or close to her. You are on top of the world and life couldn’t be better. After that she walks away. No quantity of begging will get her back. The signs of her leaving were most likely there, but you were too in love to see them. You cry, you drink, cry some more and the emptiness won’t go away. You are confused. Then there is the guy who drinks a case a beer, cries for a night, says the hell with it after that parties the next night. This over enthusiastic soul creates such a whirlwind he leaves himself no time to mourn or to consider his state of loss. When he crashes, his recuperation is typically a tough road. For me, the old saying that time heals, had value. I had no wish to go clubbing. I was lonely, still anguished and didn’t have the confidence to get back in to the dating world again. As time went on, I found a relaxed, yet boring routine. I wanted to date again, but the idea of it would give me flash backs of unpleasant moments. Sigh, loneliness was becoming my comrade. Online dating was something I heard about and decided to try it out. I was weary of watching reruns on tv. It didn’t take long to seek out the many dating sites existing on the net. I searched, researched, and joined. I was little by little and happily getting involved again. I could be situated at home in my sweats, chat with ladies online, and not have to deal with a crowd in a smoky bar room if a lady said “no”. Yet, the no’s were rare online. This was not a face to face ritual, but me on my keyboard and her on her keyboard that gave us both the needed space to get acquainted. It was fun, relaxing and a confidence booster. Yes, I’ll say it again, a confidence booster. How can online dating boost your confidence versus traditional dating? It has to do with vulnerability. Think about it. If you just lost your confidence, would you rather face a lady in a crowd of others, or at home while using MSN chat or email. After a huge letdown, most of us struggle with the thought of going out in the insensitive dating world were appearance is premium versus the intensity of words and feelings you communicate online. Whatever your state of psyche may be at that moment, you can stumble on another person online feeling as you do. That’s hard to stumble on in a smoky bar room under the effect of alcohol. Ultimately my confidence did return to an acceptable level to venture out to the dance clubs. I had online dating to thank for that. For a while, I was playing in both worlds and saw some out-and-out difference in what was sincere and what was not. Both have their pitfalls, but ultimately I realized that the normal dating world had many additional masks and traps that was not present in the online world. That’s another article. For now, I just want to say if you have misplaced your confidence because of a relationship catastrophe, give your self time to mend and see if you can find yourself again by joining a good online dating site. I guarantee you will find your confidence once more and if you are lucky, like me, you will discover the love of your life. Subscribe to Asian Dating Articles |
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